Today I gathered some thoughts – and some unexpected tears – as I thought about all of the things I wish I had been told sooner. By anyone, really. They are things that combat the voices in my head that have been there from a very young age.
And so, I spoke them to myself today.
Maybe you need to hear them too.
You have a beautiful soul. Nothing you do and nothing that happens to your outward appearance can change the beauty that you carry always. You can gain weight or lose it, cut your hair or grow it out, have tattoos or do without them, wear fancy clothes or old baggy sweatpants . Know this: nothing that changes the way you look on the outside could make you any less beautiful than you have always been on the inside.
Your outward beauty is not a weapon. It’s not even a tool. Not a detriment, not an advantage. It’s just a thing you have (for now). Don’t be afraid to enjoy it while you can, but never rely on it. Others may treat you differently, may even favor you because of it. Don’t let them get away with that.
You are talented and you are brilliant. You have a gift with words and you have no idea the power that you hold at your fingertips. You can do anything, be anything, say anything. Because your gift can move mountains and change hearts.
You have a gentle spirit that some may not understand, but it is not a weakness. Some may label you a “bleeding heart,” but that heart can do so much good. Never believe that your big, open heart is meant for anything less than changing the world, making it better, and healing those around you.
You are not naive, you are kind. There is strength in that kindness. And your place in this cruel world is invaluable. Don’t you dare go changing because someone tells you to toughen up.
You will struggle, because this world will take its toll. You will make mistakes and suffer heartaches that will be all your fault. You will feel a great range of emotions and cry a great number of tears. These things will not break you, because you will treasure them, learn from them, grow from them. Your struggles are so important for your growth.
It is ok to sometimes feel weak. It doesn’t mean you are. It means that you’ve exhausted yourself trying to do for everyone around you and it’s ok to call for backup.
Don’t be afraid to rely on other people. You are not a one-woman super-power, despite being one super-powerful woman.
Friendships are healthy and vital and healing. Cherish your old friends. Make new friends easily. Don’t be afraid to trust people and invite them into your story. Especially other women. They are not the enemy! Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that just because you look a certain way, other women do not like you. It isn’t true. And don’t go around thinking that any other pretty/interesting woman is out to steal your man. She isn’t. Thinking this way about other women will rob you of so many precious friendships that await you, relationships that can restore you, conversations that will revive you.
And when you do become jealous, find ways to overcome it. Not more ways to fuel it. In your big heart, there is no room for jealousy.
There is no room for hate.
There is no room for fear.
There is only room for love. For kindness. For hope.
Stay that way, darling, and you will achieve more than you ever thought possible.
And I will always be right here, cheering you on.